Hello Poppy, this is the second one you wrote recently that is so good. I do not go on Medium daily; I believe I remember your name from prior writings. In any case, I think that it is good in many ways; it is hopefully cathartic for you and I believe that others will read, think, and learn from your stories. Thank you for doing this. I relate in a kind of inverse way; I was an abused husband, and abused husbands are afraid to admit that. Yet we loved each other. It has taken me a few years with a therapist to sort out the feelings. She eventually died of cancer (my wife, not the therapist). But women are certainly the most frequent victims of men. I am sorry. I will say that for my gender. Keep writing and hope and luck for you.