Hi, thanks for writing this. I agree; it is unfortunately I say, likely much more common than many want to think, to feel this way. I believe it is good to let it out, and to write about it. I hope you are receiving some help. I have been depressed and suicidal myself, a few times in my life, but now, in older age I am doing much better. I have had counseling, but writing also helps, and talking with many people who also suffer with such thoughts. Keep writing and my best to you.